Naruto's Game Of LIFE
by hichigomate
Summary: Naruto is given the boardgame LIFE and finds three people to play it with: Kakashi, Gaara, and Jiraiya. How will these four act when playing out their lives in a game?


**Disclaimer: Ahhahahahahahaha....this story came to me at about...3 in the morning cause I couldn't sleep and I refound my LIFE boardgame. And I got to thinking, hey, what about if Naruto found LIFE and wanted to play it? So I put down one of my stuffed teddy bears for Naruto and grabbed a piece of paper for him, assigned him the orange car with a blue driver, and decided on three others to play with him. Thus I spent about an hour documenting each and every turn for each player and writing it down to bring you this! I was gonna just do a story with each line being something said by the person but that's too boring. So enjoy! Oh, and Naruto does not belong to me, neither does LIFE. Well, I have the boardgame but I didn't make it. O.o**

**Naruto's Game Of LIFE**

**Warnings: Uh, nothing really bad, except for the barest hints of shounen-ai between Gaara and Naruto. The most you'll be forced to read is a light kiss here and there. Other than that, it's all shits and giggles! Oh, excuse my language. XD**

**xx**

Naruto burst into his apartment late in the evening carrying a large box that rattled when he shook it. He'd passed Sakura on the street and she'd handed him the box, saying that she was bored with it and figured it would be good stimulation for his brain, whatever that meant. She'd said it was a game and that the best way to play was to have four players so he'd sent a scroll each to Gaara, Kakashi, and Jiraiya, three of his most favorite persons. He was pretty sure they were at his apartment by now.

"You know, Naruto; normally when a person sends for another to have a meeting, the person sending the message is the _first_ to arrive." Kakashi, who Naruto hadn't noticed was stationed near the door reading his Icha Icha Tactics book, spoke up from behind the pages, his voice muffled from his mask and the book.

Naruto stuck his tongue out, not the least bit remorseful. "Come on, Kakashi-sensei! I knew you guys were coming and I went out to put in an order for some food: some Ichiraku Ramen! It's the best, and perfect for our night!"

"Oh, come on Naruto! Ramen again? I'm not a fan of vegetables but from what you force down my throat I think I could become one." His other sensei Jiraiya grumbled from the couch where he'd flopped down after arriving, having shoved pillows and other stuff off to make room for himself.

Gaara stood up from the floor and made his way to Naruto, brushing up against his side as a way of greeting; ever the stoic Kazekage he wasn't one for PDA, public displays of affection. He helped Naruto cut through the box to reveal what was another box, which they laid on the floor after moving the table to the wall.

On the front of the box was the word "life" in colorful boxes, a large wheel type thing with the numbers one through ten, and people in long box-like things with wheels on their way to a fancy house carrying large sums of money. They all seemed very happy.

"What is this, Naruto?" The redhead asked, looking at the rectangular box as if afraid something would burst out of it and try to bite him. His sand was churning uneasily in the gourd he'd left by the couch.

"It's a game! Sakura-chan gave it to me earlier and said it was fun to play. She said that you need four people to play, which is why I told you guys to come over. It's like living out your life from getting a job to retirement, and you have to spend your money like you do in real life. Or you're forced to." He opened the box and looked inside, spotting the various pieces, the money bank, and the board.

He spread out the board and picked up one of the green pieces, noticing it had the letter "k" on it. He was unsure of what to do with it; Kakashi, who had wandered over with Jiraiya when he opened it, took it from his hand and fitted the longer end piece to a slot in the board just inches away from a raised "k."

"I'm guessing each of these road pieces with stickers goes over the corresponding pieces on the board. Find them and put 'em on and let's see if Naruto was right in asking us over." He sighed; it appeared he wouldn't get to be reading Icha Icha Tactics tonight. Of course he'd already read it but that didn't mean it wasn't a good story.

After a few minutes filled with confusion and hand accidently slapping one another all the pieces were on the board and Naruto was holding up a bag. "Okay! Sakura-chan told me about this part. We each pick a car," He chose the orange one with six holes before anyone else could try, "and put one of these things-" he held up a blue and pink little figure, "and put it in the driver's seat." A blue one went into his.

Shrugging, Gaara chose the red car for himself and put a blue person in its seat. Kakashi, not really interested in any of them, chose the white one and a blue person for himself. Jiraiya decided on the green car because of his affiliation with toads and picked up a pink person but, upon seeing that it did not look like a real girl sighed and put a blue figure in his car instead.

"Alright!" Naruto placed his car on the board where it read "Start College/Start Career" and motioned the others to do the same. "Now we all need money! Uh...how much money do we need?!"

Kakashi blinked at him, his face set in a dead-pan. "Uh, shouldn't you know that before we start playing the game?"

"Let's all be rich!" Was Jiraiya's valuable input into the conversation, staring at the slips of colorful paper as if it were real money.

Gaara picked up the lid. "Maybe the box says how much we get, although why Haruno didn't tell you this as well is beyond me."

Naruto looked as well, even picking up the bottom to look at that as well. Done, he grinned sheepishly and scratched the back of his head. "Nope! But I got it, I got it guys! Let's just have...two $100,000; two $50,000; three $20,000; four $10,000; and five $5,000. That should be enough, right?" (1)

No one objected and he and Gaara sorted out the money for everyone, who placed theirs around themselves as they sat in a circle around the board in various ways. Jiraiya once again sought to speak up, this time with a valuable question but still useless suggestion.

"We need someone to watch the money now, right? Like a banker? I vote me!"

Kakashi just shook his head at him while Naruto almost shrieked. "No way! You'd just spend it all on girls and booze, ero-sennin!" He seemed to conveniently forget that this was a game and there was no way he could do that.

"Fine, then let's have Gaara be the banker. He's smart, the Kazekage and probably manages his own money, and he's trustworthy." Kakashi volunteered, just wanting to get the game over with so they could disband.

"........Fine." Gaara muttered, taking the black plasting money-holder and placing it beside himself.

Naruto nodded. "Okay, so now we choose the order of who goes when. We spin this thing, and the order is whoever has the highest number goes first, down to the lowest number goes last." He leaned foreward to spin the dial. "Oooh, a seven! Cool, I'm going first!"

Kakashi frowned. "Calm down, Naruto; we've still got to spin too....five for me."

"...Two." Gaara spun, allowing his glower to direct itself at the orange-backed number. Why the hell had he allowed Naruto to talk him into this?

"What?! A one?! We should spin again! There's no way I'm last!" Jiraiya sputtered, his white hair shaking as he twisted his head back and forth.

"Sorry, ero-sennin, but one time only! That means I'm first! Okay so...I think I'll just go ahead and start my career first. Here Kakashi, you hold these cards out and I choose one from them-but don't let me see which one it is!" Kakashi grudgingly accepted the blue cards and held them out for Naruto, who chose one from the middle. "What?! A teacher?! Aw, man! Okay fine, now hold out these so I can get a salary card....Cool, $60,000! If I'm a teacher making that, that's pretty awesome!" He put the two cards side by side next to his money and spun the dial, rolling a six. Following the arrow he moved his orange car six places and landed on **Lost! Miss next turn.** "What?! I can't believe this! Awwww." He grumbled, folding his arms.

Kakashi snickered behind his mask as he spun the dial. "Think I'll start college first, since I did have to go to school for a bit. That means I need to borrow $100,000 in loans from the bank, and I believe I would like to buy insurance for my car." He gave Gaara $10,000 even as he took the loans from him. He rolled a one. "....Oh, I landed on **Scholarship! Collect $20,000.** Gaara?"

The redhead gave him the green paper and spun himself, rolling a seven. Following in Kakashi's footsteps he took five loan papers and paid for automobile insurance; he didn't want to have to pay for wreckage. He landed on **Spring Break! Pay $5,000** and glared at the board as he put the paper back in with the rest of the bills.

"Oh, it's my turn! Career, hear I come!" Since Kakashi still had the cards from earlier he held them out for Jiraiya to pick. He did, and his eyes bugged at the choice. "Entertainer?! I am no entertainer! I'm a writer! A WRITER!"

Kakashi closed his eye. "Just pick a salary, Jiraiya." _You're an enterainer to us_, he thought, smiling to himself. He ignored the next shout when Jiraiya drew a salary of $50,000; the man just wasn't very lucky.

Jiraiya scowled when he spun the dial. He spun a three and landed on **Inheritance. Collect $10,000**. "Good! I need that money! Hey, why'd you give me fifty thousand?"

The sand-nin looked at him like he was the stupidest man on the planet. "Because you passed a pay day, thus I had to pay you your salary. Naruto, it's your turn."

"Yeah." The blond moved to spin, only to sit back, dejected. "No it isn't. I have to miss this turn."

"Oh." Gaara let a tendril of sand caress Naruto's neck in silent apology.

"That's right. It's my turn now." Kakashi smiled, blinking when he once again rolled a one, having to pay $5,000 for books and supplies. "This game isn't very fun, Naruto."

"It'll get better, I promise!" Said nin urged, although he still felt pouty from his loss of turn.

"I guess it's my turn." Gaara spun and rolled a five, having to stop on a tile reading **Stop! Choose Career and Salary.** He turned to Kakashi and drew the accountant card. "...That is eerily accurate at this time." His salary card made everyone protest; he drew the highest, the $100,000 card. "But I guess that is good."

"That should have been _my_ salary!" Jiraiya continued to bemoan his bad luck even as he spun. He rolled a ten. "One, two, three...ten. Wha-my car rolls away?! I have to pay $15,000 if I'm not insured?! Why me?!"

"Oh, shut up! You passed two pay days so you get a hundred thousand dollars! Be happy!" Naruto certainly was; he could finally move again. From what Jiraiya just went through he quickly paid Gaara $10,000 for car insurance; he didn't want to have to pay too. He rolled a four. "Why would I want to visit a museum? But I get a LIFE card! Oh yeah, you guys aren't allowed to look at the backs of these until the game's over, okay?" He told the others as he took one of the LIFE tokens from where they'd been placed in two piles on the board and placed them next to his other paper affects.

"Yeah we got it, Naruto. Don't be sneaking your own looks." Kakashi spun himself and rolled a six, muttering to himself, "finally!" before moving his car. He landed on **Dean's List! LIFE,** and took a token for himself. Maybe it was looking up.

For his third spin Gaara rolled and eight, and landed on **Cycle to work. Life,** as well as passing a pay day and giving himself his salary in a gold paper. At the end of the turn he paid back $125,000 for the bank loans, as it said that much on each paper, and sighed. Life wasn't all fun and games it seemed.

Jiraiya gleefully spun himself and got another ten. He moved his car but was forced to stop on **Get married! Life.** And thus the protests began again. "Why do I have to get married? I'm not married in _real_ life! Then again, if she were a hot babe I could understand but why am I getting married to a pink plastic person? This isn't fair."

Naruto ignored him as he went about his own turn. He rolled a seven, received one pay day, and was forced to get married himself and receive another life token. He cooed to the blue piece he put next to himself in his car. "You're my little Gaara-chan! We're finally married!" He made kissy noises and only stopped when Gaara's sand began pressing bruisingly against him and his boyfriend hissed in his ear, "_Who's_ your little 'Gaara-chan?'"

Coughing to disrupt any possible fight Kakashi took reign of the situation by spinning a ten. He handed the cards to Jiraiya and chose for himself, gaining the career athelete and the salary $80,000. "Well, that is also ironic for my line of duty, wouldn't you agree?" He shrugged and placed the cards down.

Gaara, after withdrawing his sand, went back to the game but with even less gusto than before. He rolled another eight-what were the odds of that?-and was forced to stop on **Get married! Life.** He grumbled but picked up a pink piece, snapping and finally giving in to Naruto's pleading and moaning to put it back and pick up a blue piece to put in his red car. Anything to stop the bitching.

"Aw, how cute of you two. Are you going to have children, too?" Jiraiya giggled like a little schoolgirl, ignoring the glower sent his way as he spun a five. "This game is rigged! Now I have to pay ten thousand dollars for a high-tech seminar? People pay to come to my seminars, not the other way around!"

"Just give me the money, Jiraiya-sensei, or I will crush you." Nobody messed with Gaara when he brought on his demon voice and Jiraiya, even though he was probably, and that word is used with all due uncertainty, more powerful he did obey.

"Uh, okay so it's my turn now! Six, six, six...damn it. Night school. Who pays twenty thousand dollars for some boring school taking place at night?" He asked himself as he paid Gaara from his dwindling money pile.

"Well, at least you're getting some education in this life, Naruto. Oh, that's right, I should pay off those loans now. .... I have so little money." Kakashi sighed and spun a seven. "Hey Naruto, it looks like I'm interested in that museum you visited earlier." He took a LIFE token.

"It was boring, Kakashi-sensei, and you know it! It was all pictures and statues...probably."

Gaara's eyes twinkled slightly as he took his turn; how could Naruto even say that? It was just a game. He rolled a two and landed on **Happy Honeymoon! Life.** "...Naruto. We just had our honeymoon."

Naruto gave what sounded suspiciously like a squeal and glomped Gaara from the side, causing him to fall over onto his money as he valiantly tried to protect himself from the overexhuberant male. It didn't go too well.

"Geez you two; get a room. Although this is really good material for a new book...Yes! A four! Ooh, and I won the lottery! Hey loverboy; give me $50,000. No, wait, give me $100,000; I got paid too!"

After being forcibly shoved away Naruto sat back and spun himself. He rolled a seven and stopped where they told him to draw a house deed. "Hey Gaara! Check out our new house; it's called The Tudor! It's got tufloors, tubaths, tucar garage. It's perfect for tupeople with tukids or more, which means it's perfect for us! I'm buying it." He paid the $180,000 for it and the $45,000 for the insurance on it, paying back the pay day money he'd just received.

"I'm not living with you in that." Gaara mumbled but it was lost in Kakashi's turn, who rolled a four.

"...Do I have to get married?" He asked even as he fitted his car with a female piece. At least he got a life token, and a pay day, that was a bonus.

Gaara on this turn rolled a six and landed on **Taxes Due!** He paid $45,000 as that's what it read on his salary card, and gave himself one salary payment. Jiraiya, on his turn, rolled another four and landed on the house deed tile. He drew the split-level card, which the house split in two by what looked like an earthquake, but since it was cheap at fourty thousand dollars he bought it, but not the insurance.

Four turns later Naruto, full of protests and shouts of joy, now had a baby girl in his backseat, had three more pay days, and had visited Mount Rushmoore. He also had two more life tokens. Kakashi had attended that same high-tech seminar as Jiraiya, had visited his in-laws for a life token, drew the Beach House which he bought for $140,000 and insurance for $35,000, and received three pay days. He was set with these choices, and didn't grumble too much, except for having to visit in-laws. Who would want that? Gaara also now had a house, the $120,000 Dutch Colonial that was not as nice as Naruto's house but he bought anyway, as well as insurance at thirty thousand dollars. In the next three turns he received a baby boy, two pay days, had family physicals, and have 50-yard line seats at the big game. So now he and Naruto apparently had two children. Jiraiya, ever the protesting man and lecherous nin he was, received three pay days, twins, which he chose girls for because of his nature even though he grumbled mightily at having to put them in his car, went to a Hollywood premiere, and had his car totalled for which he again had to pay for since he refused to buy insurance.

"Gaara! We're parents! Don't our children look adorable?!"

"They look just like our people, Naruto. They're sticks." The redhead felt the need to point out. "...And now I have a baby boy. I hope he doesn't look like me."

"Again...why is it always me? What did I ever do to wreck my car? How did I even wreck it?! Naruto ran me off the road! And me, with my sweet twin girls!" Jiraiya pointed accusingly at Naruto, who ignored him.

"Well, I have a good house! That's always good!" Kakashi grinned.

"I'm gonna be the next Hokage! Believe it!" Naruto shouted when, two turns later, he landed on the tile **Run for mayor! Life.**

"Calm down Naruto!" Three sets of voices chided him.

**X-One hour later and at Millionaire Estates, the crew is counting up their money and reflecting over the past game-X (2)**

"I can't believe I have three kids. I had to adopt twins! They're not even ours, Gaara! (he chose a boy and girl since he didn't want two of either)" Naruto wailed, sniffing for effect as he counted up his money. At the end of the game he came up with $1,595,000 and $110,000 in life tokens. He put his car in Millionaire Estates. He had been the last to reach retirement, even though he was the first to move.

Kakashi, who just a turn after Naruto landed on **Run for Mayor. Life** and ensued a mini fight with the blond over who was better fit to be Hokage, had officially been named "Life King" when he acquired the most life tokens and even took the last one on the board, coming up with a total of ten which, in hindsight wasn't that much but it accumulated to $260,000 for him. He also was forced to adopt twins, of which he chose boys to "train", landing on the **Summer School. Pay $5,000 per child** tile and was forced to pay fifteen thousand dollars, which resulted in his uttered comment of "I hate children." By the end of the game he, running close to Naruto, had $1,600,000 and also retired to Millionaire Estates. He was also the first to reach retirement.

Gaara, for his point, had somehow landed on the **Baby Boy!** tile three times throughout the game and had three boys in his car along with his couple, becoming a grandparent even during the game although there were no life tiles left for him at that point. By the end he'd acquired $1,395,000 as well as $160,000 in life tokens. He was set enough and went to Millionaire Estates with his boyfriend.

Jiraiya had his house hit by another disaster, a tornado, and had to pay for that one hundred twenty five thousand dollars since he wasn't insured, as well as going through a midlife crisis and started a new career as an artist. He didn't land on any more children but his twin girls but did become a grandparent. Also, towards the end of the game he was able to trade salaries with Naruto, who by then had Gaara's old salary, which only resulted in two pay days. By the end and, to everyone's astonishment, he had $1,440,000 as well as $80,000 in life tokens and was able to go to Millionaire Estates.

"I thought this game was supposed to be fun, Naruto." Kakashi said as he helped put everything back in the box.

"It was fun! Me and Gaara got married and had a lot of kids, and you did too but not the lot of kids part, and you beat us all! Aren't you happy?!" Naruto demanded as he cuddled up to his redhead.

"I didn't say that. But I could have down without all the noise. And Jiraiya bitching like a girl everytime he got bit in the ass for not buying insurance." Kakashi, who was never as vulgar as he was this night, noticed that nobody in the room could quite surpress a shiver when he spoke. He smirked.

"I wasn't bitching! I told you, the game's rigged; I swear!" Jiraiya had moved to sulk back in his old position on the couch, eating his warm salty Ramen. "At least my girls love me...."

Gaara, resting from the surprisingly taxing gameplay, turned to speak directly to Naruto. "Naruto, if you ever bring me here to play such a boring and annoying game like this again, I don't care if we are dating, I will kill you."

Naruto shivered and made a mental note to lock that game away. Or give it back to Sakura. But at least everyone had fun! Right?

**And there you go. Yes, I did document each and every move, and everything did really play out that way! I didn't change anything; it was too good to be changed. Especially Gaara hitting all baby boy tiles and Kakashi landing on a LIFE tile in over half his turns. Come on, how good's that? But anyway! Tell me what you guys think! I positively LOVE REVIEWS!!!**

**Ayame**

(1) This is how I usually play Life. Actually, I don't know what happened to the instructions and these seemed like reasonable numbers so if they're wrong, excuse me for that.

(2) The reason I didn't continue writing every single move? I figured you guys would get bored with it and my back and shoulders are KILLING me sitting in this stool typing so...sue me. No, don't; I haven't a dime to my name. O.o


End file.
